Questions and Answers from AARP Forum

 

         
Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?

    A: Try a bookstore, under fiction.      


Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?  

   A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done you'll have a place to live.      


Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?

    A: Yes. Matthew 14:92:
"And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt.

     
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60 plus year old husband?  

   A: Tell him you're pregnant.      


Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?

    A:      
Take off your glasses.


Q: Seriously! What can I do for these Crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?

    A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.


Q: Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?

    A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.


Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?

    A: Storing memory is not a problem. Retrieving it is the problem.


Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?  

   A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.


Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?   

  A: On their foreheads.


Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?    

A: "Gosh, I remember these!"


SMILE, You've still got your sense of humor, RIGHT?      


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Comments (33)

  1. briton

    Death is just nature’s way of telling you to slow down.

    January 21, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      Or STOP….Hehehehehehehehe…………

      January 21, 2014
  2. Munkyman

    Q: Seriously! What can I do for these Crow’s feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
    A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.
    LMAO

    January 21, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      Classic right???? Hehehehehehe………..

      January 21, 2014
    2. dreamshadow59

      Classic right???? Hehehehehehe………..

      January 21, 2014
  3. MindLint

    Harummph!! Don’t pick on me! I am not 60 anyway. I am 63 and improving daily.

    January 21, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      Thought you’d enjoy this….Hehehehehe……

      January 21, 2014
      1. MindLint

        Sure, STILL picking on me. Well, I’ll have you know….. that as soon as I know something, I will let you know!! So There!!

        January 21, 2014
        1. dreamshadow59

          Hehehehehehehe…………….

          January 21, 2014
  4. SEC

    January 21, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      January 21, 2014
  5. miss-ranty-pants

    I like the first one, its soooo true but they always fall for it

    January 21, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      Yup…….Hehehehehehehehe……..

      January 21, 2014
      1. miss-ranty-pants

        Not sure we should be letting on we know either

        January 21, 2014
        1. dreamshadow59

          Hehehehehe……

          January 21, 2014
  6. pastormike

    I’m like cheese.. age just makes me sharper…

    January 21, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      2 thumbs up….

      January 21, 2014
  7. withwings

    January 21, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      January 21, 2014
  8. rebecca2013

    hahahahahah!!!!

    January 21, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      I really liked the Menopause one…Hehehehehehe….

      January 21, 2014
      1. rebecca2013

        I always love your things…. they always bring a smile (or a blush and smile) to my face

        January 21, 2014
        1. dreamshadow59

          Awwwwwwww….Thank you….Kissssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          January 21, 2014
          1. rebecca2013

            you are one of Thought’s favorites!! (and mine too!! )

            January 21, 2014
            1. dreamshadow59

              Awwwww…Now you have me tearing up and here I am at work……Muah…

              January 21, 2014
            2. rebecca2013

              just the facts ma’am

              January 21, 2014
  9. briton

    I wish I was a helluva lot younger and knew what I know now.

    January 22, 2014
  10. MindLint

    OH man, first I endure a post attacking my manhood, and now my age?? I am just going to bed now and try again tomorrow for a fair shake.

    February 11, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      At least you’re a good sport!!!! MUAH!!!!

      February 11, 2014
      1. MindLint

        WHAT? Now your calling me short? This is hard to read, left my glasses at work.

        February 11, 2014
        1. dreamshadow59

          You’re too funny my friend!!!!!!

          February 11, 2014
  11. newmanshade

    One geriatric patient of mine told me recently that the best part of failing eyesight was that he rarely sees an ugly woman anymore; they all look good now!

    September 19, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      Hehehehehehe!!!!!!!

      September 19, 2014