HOW TO HOLD YOUR BREATH FOR Twenty MINUTES

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If YOU’re one of the MILLIONS who have been WAITING for this exciting NEW technique, well, HERE it is…

 

 1.   First, take a DEEP breath in, next.

 

2.    Hold your breath.

 

3.    Then, tape your mouth and nose with duct tape so that NO air is released.

 

       IF after 25 min. you are STILL breathing, call the Guinness Book of World records. You’ve Won, BUT you’re more than likely BRAIN DEAD…Sorry….Guess I should have made that 18 minutes…

 

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Comments (30)

  1. Hugh_Pizmehoff

    A little brain damage never hurt anyone.

    August 20, 2015
    1. dreamshadow59

      That’s what I’m sayin’. 👌

      August 20, 2015
  2. cjb321

    How about 17 1/2??? LOL

    August 20, 2015
    1. dreamshadow59

      Nope…the record is 20 min.

      August 20, 2015
      1. wirelessguru1

        Then you just need 21 min and not 25 min…

        August 20, 2015
        1. dreamshadow59

          No, 22 is the record…

          August 20, 2015
          1. wirelessguru1

            WOW! A few hours ago it was 20 (see above)!!!

            August 20, 2015
            1. dreamshadow59

              No…You misunderstand, I teach you how to hold your breath for ONLY 20 min. After that, you’re on your OWN. Hehehehehehehe……

              August 20, 2015
            2. wirelessguru1

              Well, the world record holder of “apnea” free diving (Natalia Molchanova, 53), is missing since early this month!

              August 20, 2015
            3. dreamshadow59

              I guess she used my method for “20 min” and messed up.

              August 20, 2015
            4. wirelessguru1

              She was diving around Barcelona and never resurfaced!

              August 20, 2015
            5. dreamshadow59

              Yikes!!!!! She COULD be walking around with brain damage then…

              August 20, 2015
            6. wirelessguru1

              Most likely she is dead at the bottom of the ocean!

              August 20, 2015
            7. dreamshadow59

              Or…In someone ELSES house watching TV about how to hold you breath for 25 Min. Hehehehehehehehe

              August 20, 2015
  3. MindLint

    Oh sure, sit and make fun of the drain bamaged.

    August 20, 2015
    1. dreamshadow59

      What????

      August 20, 2015
      1. MindLint

        Poor joke. Sorry, didn’t mean it to be. Love you!

        August 23, 2015
        1. dreamshadow59

          Toby…I would NEVER make fun of you. You’re one of my FAVORITE people darlin’…

          August 23, 2015
  4. Munkyman

    Rectite.

    August 20, 2015
    1. dreamshadow59

      August 20, 2015
  5. briton

    Hold your breath for 20 minutes?Did your partner fart when you were in the 69 position?

    August 21, 2015
    1. dreamshadow59

      I’m lucky if I can hold MINE for 20 seconds let alone 20 min. Hehehehehe….

      August 21, 2015
  6. briton

    So you quickly switched back to the #1 position?

    August 21, 2015
    1. dreamshadow59

      August 21, 2015
  7. prozac-attack

    My personal record is… 0 seconds. I never hold my breath… but this sounds like a good way to kill some idiots I know, who would accept this challenge in a heart beat because they’re that dumb jk lol

    September 15, 2015
    1. dreamshadow59

      I know right???

      September 15, 2015
  8. pets

    I thought it was holding its breath because someone farted lol

    September 21, 2015
    1. dreamshadow59

      Hehehehe…

      September 21, 2015
      1. briton

        Never admit to farting even if there are only two of you.

        May 08, 2016
  9. briton

    There I sat broken hearted
    Paid my money and I only farted.

    April 28, 2016