Giggle Time--Hollywood Squares--

 

 

 

Unfortunately, I am definitely old enough to remember this show.
It was one of the funniest shows on Television!
The contestants were priceless!
 
FOR THOSE OF US WHO REMEMBER
 

 

These great questions and answers are from the days when Hollywood Squares’ game show
responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now! Here are some as they were back then… Enjoy…
 

 

Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!

 


(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

 

Q. If you’re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

 

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years…
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

 

Q. You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A.. Don Knotts: That’s what’s been keeping me awake.

 

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and

 

you think that he is attractive,

 

is it okay to come out and ask him if he’s married?

A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.
 

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..

 

Q. What are ‘Do It,’ ‘I Can Help,’ and ‘I Can’t Get Enough’?
A. George Gobel: I don’t know, but it’s coming from the next apartment.

 

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?


A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter,

 

and I’ll give you a gesture you’ll never forget.
 

Q. Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

 

Q. Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries.

 

Are you going to get any during the first year?

A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I’m too busy growing strawberries.
 

Q. In bowling, what’s a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

 

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I’m always safe in the bedroom.

 

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A.. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

 

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

 

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark..

 

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting

 

into the habit of kissing a lot of people?

A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
 

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head,

 

what was he trying to do?

A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
 

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

 

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and

 

has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
 

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh!

 

WE DON’T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD,

WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING

 

Until Later…

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Comments (-1)

  1. briton

    I just about remember the show.It was on when I was starting to become senile.

    April 27, 2013
    1. dreamshadow59

      Hehehehehe…..

      April 28, 2013
  2. MindLint

    I hadn’t thought of that show in years. What a great memory!!

    April 27, 2013
    1. dreamshadow59

      I know…Right???

      April 28, 2013
      1. MindLint

        I just watched an hour of “Lost In Space”, LOL.. I thought it was kinda dumb when I was a kid, as an adult…………. well what was I doing wasting an hour? LOL

        April 28, 2013
        1. dreamshadow59

          I hear ya. Hehehehehe……

          April 28, 2013
  3. SEC

    Sooz, what is the difference between a snake and a goose?

    April 27, 2013
    1. dreamshadow59

      ee above….

      April 28, 2013
      1. SEC

        briton is close; one is an asp in the grass and other is a grasp in ass!

        April 28, 2013
        1. dreamshadow59

          Hehehehehehehehehe…..GREAT….Loved it….Hehehehehe….

          April 28, 2013
          1. SEC

            One of my dad’s faves.

            April 28, 2013
            1. dreamshadow59

              I watch these on re-runs all the time. some GREAT adlibs back in the day…

              April 28, 2013
            2. dreamshadow59

              I watch these on re-runs all the time. some GREAT adlibs back in the day…

              April 28, 2013
  4. briton

    A snake is in the grass and a goose is up your ass?

    April 27, 2013
    1. dreamshadow59

      Hmmmmmmmmmm..Sounds like I would LIKE that….Hehehehhe….

      April 28, 2013
  5. cjb321

    Oh this was such a good show. Thanks for the memory. Oh yeah, Bob Hope said that. lol

    April 27, 2013
    1. dreamshadow59

      I used to watch this show on re-runs all the time. My Fav. was Paul Lynde…

      April 28, 2013
      1. cjb321

        Mine too!

        April 28, 2013
        1. dreamshadow59

          April 28, 2013
  6. jessieludlow

    damn I am young.,

    April 28, 2013
    1. dreamshadow59

      Indeed….

      April 28, 2013
  7. pastormike

    a collection of classics indeed…

    April 28, 2013
    1. dreamshadow59

      Yeah…Great one liners for sure…

      April 28, 2013
      1. pastormike

        us amateurs venerate the true pro’’s..

        April 28, 2013
        1. dreamshadow59

          They were GREAT wern’t they???

          April 28, 2013
          1. pastormike

            we won’t see their like again.. they cut their teeth on vaudville.. it winnowed out the wannabes and left the great ones..

            April 28, 2013
            1. dreamshadow59

              I know…They were trule Fast witted and funny comics…ALL of them…

              April 28, 2013
            2. dreamshadow59

              I know…They were trule Fast witted and funny comics…ALL of them…

              April 28, 2013
  8. rebecca2013

    I know my parents watched it….

    April 28, 2013
  9. dreamshadow59

    It really was a hilarious show when they had these older comics on. I watch and watch clips on You Tube…

    April 28, 2013
  10. Giabug

    Ah, I loved that show. Paul Lynde was so great. One answer of his that I’ve always remembered went something like this :
    Q: Why is it a good idea to squeeze oranges?
    PL: …….Show ‘em who’s boss.

    April 28, 2013
    1. dreamshadow59

      Hehehehehe…He was great wasn’t he…He was always my favorite. Him and Rose Marie…

      April 28, 2013
      1. Giabug

        And Charlie Weaver.

        April 28, 2013
        1. dreamshadow59

          Yeah….He was funny too but a little bit of the dirty old man type for my tastes…

          April 28, 2013
  11. briton

    Kindly leave me out of this

    April 28, 2013
  12. dreamshadow59

    Hehehehehe…..

    April 29, 2013
  13. drivefaastakechances

    Omygoodness, I can remember watching my watch this and she would laugh so hard (holding it all in, because she was such a lady) she would cry. Those were great thanks sooz!! I loved remembering those days.

    April 30, 2013
  14. dreamshadow59

    Yeah they made some pretty good shows a few years ago…

    April 28, 2013
    1. dreamshadow59

      OMG….AMEN to THAT…….

      April 28, 2013
      1. briton

        Absolutely!

        April 28, 2013