Giggle Time--Attention Walmart Shoppers--

Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife, with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.
 

A ‘friend of a friend’ put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of ‘Artie.’

Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn’t have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife’s insurance money.

Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.
 

A few days later, Artie followed the man’s wife to the local Super Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands and as the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor.


The manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol’ Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.

However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras and observed by the store’s security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the store.
 

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plot, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband, who was also quickly arrested.

The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared…

(You’re going to hate me for this .…)
‘ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ WAL-MART!!’


Oh, quit groaning! I don’t write this stuff, I receive it from my warped friends and then send it on to you!

 
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Comments (29)

  1. SEC

    thou art warped do not deny it

    September 27, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      Deny WHAT???? Looks away sheepishly…Hehehehehe….

      September 27, 2014
      1. SEC

        September 27, 2014
        1. dreamshadow59

          September 27, 2014
  2. pastormike

    you’re like me.. we can be accused of many things but shame isn’t one of ’em….

    September 27, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      Ohhhhh how true!!!! Hehehehehehehehe….

      September 27, 2014
  3. bythesea

    Very good.. I had a good groan/laugh at that

    September 27, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      Awwww, I’m glad….

      September 27, 2014
  4. fierylady

    Took a second….then I burst out laughing. hahahahaaa

    September 27, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      Sometimes I just can’t control my GOOFY mind…Hehehehe….

      September 27, 2014
  5. briton

    A dose of plutonium might do the trick!

    September 27, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      Hehehehehe….YUP!!! Hehehehehe….

      September 27, 2014
  6. rebecca2013

    hahahahah Sooz and Becca are in for some “PUNishment” heheheheheh

    September 28, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      THOUGHT you’d like that….

      September 28, 2014
      1. rebecca2013

        heheheheh

        September 28, 2014
        1. dreamshadow59

          September 28, 2014
          1. rebecca2013

            September 28, 2014
  7. allyg

    Bwahahaha! It was so bad it was good!

    September 28, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      I KNOW, right…Hehehehehehe…..

      September 28, 2014
    2. This comment has been deleted
  8. EvaKimble

    Hahaha! Corny but I chuckled at the end.

    September 28, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      I know, I couldn’t help it. I just HAD to…

      September 28, 2014
  9. This comment has been deleted
  10. keepingitreal_13

    Oh…..groan. LOL

    September 29, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      Hehehehehehe…Hey…I couldn’t resist…Hehehehehe….

      September 29, 2014
  11. angelodusty

    Thanks, I needed that today!

    September 29, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      My pleasure….Glad you got a giggle out of it…

      September 29, 2014
  12. honestycounts

    THAT was bad………………………….( insert groan here )

    September 30, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      Hehehehe…Hey, I jut find ’em and pass ’em on….

      September 30, 2014
    2. This comment has been deleted
  13. sunshineandraindrops

    This is so funny!

    May 29, 2015
  14. dreamshadow59

    OK….

    September 28, 2014